It can be hard to deliver feedback, especially if you know in advance that the recipient migt be shattered by the information. How do you prepare yourself? How do you make sure the recipient doesn't explain away what you are going to share?
Before you approach the individual, read "Delivering What Might Be Esteem-Shattering Feedback."
Your objective is to have the individual listen and understand the information without either justifying (defending) the behavior or being devastated by the news.
Sometimes, your colleagues know things about your behaviors that are outside your awareness. Sometimes they try to communicate to you the negative effect some of your behaviors have on others.
Sometimes, you don't get the message. There may be all kinds of reasons for that, but the bottom line is that you have no way to make a conscious choice about your behaviors until you understand what you're being told.
Read "Receiving Pride-Shattering Feedback,"
then go ask your colleagues, "Have I been guilty of not listening to some feedback you've been trying to give to me?"
You might be surprised by what they have to tell you!
We all want really good results, right? What we get (result) is usually a function of what we do, and what we do is usually a function of how we see our situation.
To make improvement in any or all of those, we need to spend a little time thinking about that sequence. Do you take adequate time to reflect on how you see your situation and what you do about it? "See--Do--Get--Reflect"
might be worth you taking a few moments and reflecting on how often and how deeply you consider this sequence!
"Change" is fine when we initiate it, expecting it to be an improvement. "Change" is often a pain when it is unexpectedly thrust upon us!
People and organizations, when adjusting to unexpected change, follow a rather predictable pattern. Knowing what that sequence is and having the process work for you (rather than against you) makes dealing with the change far less of a hassle.
Take a look at "Dealing with Unexpected Change"
to learn about how to minimize the frustrations of unexpected change.
Many companies use an anonymous feedback process, including the very popular "360 degree" feedback tool. Yet anonymity has both short-term and long-term drawbacks to achieving the very results for which the feedback was initiated. Read "Why I Don't Like
, to find out the advantages of in-person feedback and to find a suggestion for accomplishing this while retaining the advantages of "360 degree" feedback. Dennis
As a leader, you need to know what is actually going on in your organization. Yet your very presence can cause others to change their behavior from what they usually do. Read "'The Observer Effect' and Your Leadership"
, then pause and reflect on the positive and negative influences your presence has on your colleagues and team members.
Do you ever feel "down"? Perhaps you have someone in your organization who is suffering some kind of unexpected problem.
Here's an article, "Overcoming Adversity,"
that might offer some encouraging perspective. After all, many people have faced difficult times and, through tenacity and persistence, accomplished amazing achievements.
When I'm feeling discouraged, I consider what these people have faced and overcome and I quickly stop feeling sorry for myself, kick myself in the tail, and get back going again! I hope you will, too.
Once you've identified improvement opportunities for yourself, how to you change those stubborn habits that get in the way? Read "How Does a Leader Intentionally Improve?"
to learn helpful strategies for change.
If the environment at your workplace is demanding and stressful, you may think employees should just "get over" the occasional offenses that occur between people. In "Why Can't I Be Forgiven without an Apology?"
, you'll see that true reconciliation requires more.
Maybe you didn't intend to offend someone. Maybe you can't see any way that you are responsible for the deterioration in a relationship. In "I Didn't Mean Anything by It - Do I Have to Apologize?"
, learn how leaders take the initiative in reconciliation and how a sincere apology that restores a valuable relationship is more important than being right.